Annoying Facebook Updates from Mrs. Sherrod Brown
A friend thinks I should make this a regular feature…. Updates from Connie Schultz’s Facebook page. What do you think?
Anyway, here are two to get us started:
First, it’s time to picture her in bed with her husband:
“This week we’re celebrating our sixth wedding anniversary.
When people ask Sherrod what it’s like to be married to me, he often offers a story from summer 2008, in Denver. He was giving a talk to about 200 Democratic donors, thanking them for their support, when the man standing next to me leaned in and said, “I can’t stand that guy’s voice.”
“Really?” I said.
“Yeah,” he said, then curled his hands in front of him to look like claws. “Like fingernails on a blackboard.
“Hmm,” said. “I really like his voice.”
“You do?” he said, incredulous. I motioned for him to lean in closer. “You know when I really like his voice?” I said.
He shook his head. “When?”
“When he rolls over in the middle of the night and says, (insert gravelly voice imitation here), “I love you babeeee.”
The color drained from his face. “Oh, my God, you’re Sherrod Brown’s wife!”
You bet I am.
Boredom eludes us.”
And of course Connie was driving:
“Sherrod and I were headed to Columbus last night when the Honda, bearing a McCain-Palin bumper sticker, first appeared on our left. I was driving.
The guy looked at us once. Did a double-take and looked at us again. He started waving his hand and mouthed, “Is that Sherrod Brown? Is that Sherrod Brown?” I smiled and nodded. Then he wagged his finger and his car started veering right-to-left, to the point where I decided to slide over just a bit. Then he leaned way across the front seat and, still yelling, gave Sherrod the finger.
OK. Fine. We kept driving, and first he pulled in front of us, then drove to the right of us, then fell behind at quite a distance. I thought it was because he saw me photograph his license plate. I always carry a camera these days, and whenever someone recognizes us and starts bullying on the road I hold it up and shoot, without a flash. Usually, they realize I’ve just captured either their faces or, in this case, the license plate, and it freaks them out enough to leave us alone.
This time, however, I looked in the rear view mirror and it was clear he wasn’t finished with us. The driver was shuffling some papers, writing something down, and then he started speeding toward us. I turned to Sherrod and said, “I think he has a sign.”
Sure enough, he pulled up close behind, then suddenly veered into the lane to our left. Driving with his left hand, he leaned far over and waved a sign that read, “1 TERM 4 YOU.”
We stared straight ahead, but he kept veering into our lane. So we switched to the far right.
And that’s the punch line, I guess.”
I’m surprised he doesn’t have a driver. It’s a little known fact that Marc Dann once used to drive for Sherrod Brown… Maybe Dann needs an extra job now?